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I'm a 30yr old Muslim Gal who comes from a Pakistani background. I am currently in the middle of a divorce so thought I'd write a blog, more for myself, as a diary but anyone is welcome to share their thoughts x

Wednesday, 15 January 2014

It's Raining Men!

I'm back again, this time to spout about my recent spousing experiences.  Things have changed.  It seems to be quite trendy (is that the word?) to be a cougar nowadays.  I could feel myself shifting somewhat uncomfortably when my friend suggested I speak to someone she knew who was a couple years younger than me.  Age is but a number, she kept saying.  I've never really seen myself with a man younger than myself, am I stuck in traditional ways?  Not so much now, I didn't notice the age difference when we spoke so happy days, I have broken away from my norm.
 
The past few months has put me in touch with Bengali men (sweethearts), Pakistani men ("what can you cook?"), Reverts (interesting/strict) and African men (softys).  Of course I'm generalising completely but I'm allowed to, it's my blog.  I don't seem to have very much interest in Pakistani men, not that I think they have very much interest in me either.  I do want someone different and not enter into the typical backward life which I exited from.  Having met a few men from different backgrounds, I wonder about the clash of cultures though.  Based on my most recent conversation with someone, I think it becomes a problem when neither party is very flexible and has a deep rooted sense of being within their culture.
 
I definitely feel a lot more confident now when speaking to men about this whole marriage business.  I'm comfortable in my own skin and not scared of asking questions which I think are important to me.  My most recent experience would have to be by far the most positive, if only all men could act like that!  Phone when they say they will, speak like a gentleman, intelligent and not get offended by important personal questions.  It has restored my faith that there are still good men floating around out there.  There's just a lot of sifting needed to try to find them.           

2 comments:

  1. Glad you are doing better and have really moved away from our shitty Pakistani culture. Good call on trying to stay away from Pakistani men. It's not without reason that we have dozens of drama serials all about married women in complete despair due to bad marriage/in-law trouble/etc. Our culture SUCKS big time.

    I hope you find someone who will make you happy and vice versa.. Tranquility, love, mercy, understanding, all that.

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    1. Hello again bicker and thanks for your comment. I think my posts do pretty much make it clear how put off I am by Pakistani culture but at the same time, part of me knows that it's not a fair statement to be making. The traditional people are the worst and I suppose what I should be doing is making sure I stay the heck away from them. I would happily chew my own foot off before ending up with another family like my ex in-laws, may God protect me (and others who were/are in the same position). x

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