I heard on the radio recently, a man who was talking about his own divorce. He made an interesting statement and said that he wished he had taken a step back and tried to reach an amicable agreement with his ex rather than going through court. I couldn't agree with him more. By going through the court process, the biggest winners are the lawyers!
I have tried to keep things out of court in as much as I could. I never did get my jewellery back which was part of our legal agreement. I can overlook that now even though at the beginning I was adamant I would get it back. The problem I am faced with is that unfortunately more than one legal agreement was broken by my ex and as a result an impending court action looms.
I do feel irritated at my ex. I have revised many of the binding legal agreements as he had requested it and I didn't fancy a court battle. However, no sooner is an agreement changed before it is broken again. His lawyer is exasperated and court papers have been prepared. I sometimes wonder whether it's all just a game to him. A way of pulling me back into his playground antics and the murk I left behind.
My legal divorce will be finalised in a matter of weeks now. I was given the option of pursuing a divorce under the grounds of adultery or unreasonable behaviour. The former would mean that the girls name whom he had been conducting an affair with would become a matter of public record. The only reason I opted for the latter was to avoid this. In my eyes, the girl made a mistake and can learn from this awful mess she got caught up in, hopefully making a life for herself with somebody good. If anybody can empathise with how manipulative my ex was then it's me and I don't hold any resentments or grudges against her purely for this reason.
An affidavit was sent to me, ironically on my anniversary. This outlined the reasons for which the divorce was being pursued. Here's a tip, If you're ever looking into a man/woman where the divorce was based on any grounds of unreasonable behaviour then there will always be paperwork relating to what their naughtiness was so you can check on their story.
The legal matters for me have been the biggest headache of it all. I've washed my hands of it and left it to the lawyers now. They're the ones getting paid afterall. I'll just pop a couple of paracetamol and have a wee lie down after I open their bill.